Robert Adams

Satsang Recording

There is No Self

Advaita Satsang with Robert Adams
There is No Self
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Transcript:

Robert: When people first come to see me, they expect a lecture. I do not give lectures. I am not a philosopher. I am not a preacher. All of the reasons you came to me are wrong. I can do absolutely nothing for you. What I usually do is make my confession to myself and since there’s one Self everybody’s included. I speak in the first person. When I use the terms I or I-am, I am not referring to Robert, I am referring to consciousness. Consciousness is omnipresent. This means that all of you are included when I use the words Iam. So, I confess that I am not the body or the mind principle. I confess that I am not the doer. But that I am the absolute reality. I am ultimate oneness, pure intelligence, emptiness, nirvana. I am unborn and I do not disappear. And in the term between life and death, I do not prevail. I am nothingness. Emptiness. Sat-chit-ananda. Parabrahman. I am that I am. That is my confession to you and that is your confession to me. There is one consciousness, one Brahman, one ultimate reality. As I make my confession to you, remember I am not speaking about Robert, I’m speaking of oneness, of the ultimate reality, of nothingness, emptiness. I am that I am. Sat-chit-ananda. Pure awareness. The ultimate oneness. I, which is consciousness was never born and consciousness can never die. This realization transcends all your karma. To be aware of this alone, emancipates you, makes you free, now. To be aware of this, is to be this. So again, I do not give talks, I do not give lectures, I am not a philosopher, I am not a preacher, I am nothing. If you came here to expect some teaching, you will go away disappointed because I have nothing to teach. Again I confess to you, that I-am is not the body-mind principle, nor the doer, nor the world, nor God. I-am is consciousness. Consciousness is the Self. The Self is self-contained, projecting and manifesting this world and this universe. (Someone arrives to satsang) Hello Artie. SN: The bed is fine for anyone to sit on the bed. Robert: If you’d like to sing, “Oh God beautiful”. (After singing) SE: That’s the first cant I ever learned, thirty something years ago. (R: Really?) And that and the, “In the temple of silence.” (Robert: Umm.) Last Thursday we were talking about the Self as consciousness and after about an hour into it, I finally confessed that in the ultimate reality, there’s no Self and there’s no consciousness. And some people became perplexed because just as they were beginning to discover the Self, I come and tell them there’s no Self. Now what does this mean, we’ll follow through on it. The Self exists as long as you believe you’re not self-realized. Does a self-realized person need a Self? Does a self-realized person talk about consciousness? Needs consciousness or Brahman, or parabrahman, or sat-chit-ananda? Those are words, those are concepts. As long as you are believing in concepts, words, preconceived ideas, this will halt your progress. Reality is beyond words. Reality is in the Silence. Really the only thing you have to do is quiet your mind. Make your mind quiescent and reality will shine forth all by itself. But if you go around repeating like a parrot, “I am the Self, I am consciousness, I am ultimate reality.” It will actually keep you back. I tell you the truth, it’s better to say nothing. The reason I express these words, is to make you understand that there is something else besides you bodily experiences. There’s something besides your everyday occurrences. And that is called the Self. The Self is merely a self-contained Self, projecting and manifesting the universe and the world. You are that Self. And the reason the universe and the world exist is because you exist. It’s being emanated through you. You are the projectionist. The entire universe is a projection of your mind. So, if there’s no mind, everything becomes the Self. Then you can confess, everything is the Self and I am that. But until that happens the best thing you can do, is to speak very little. The best thing you can do, is to dive deep within yourself, and discover your true nature. This can be done at any time. When you get caught up in the world for instance. Simply ask yourself, “Who is it that’s caught up in the world?” And be truthful, say, “I-am” and go further and ask yourself, “Where did the I come from? What is this I? How did it originate? What is its cause?” Follow the I, abide in the I and you will soon come to the conclusion, that I does not exist. You will soon come to the conclusion that you are infinite space. And instead of observing objects in the world. You will observe the space that the objects seem to be glued onto. It’s like a little kids cut out book. A little kid gets a piece of paper. Cuts out a picture of the sun, pastes the sun on the paper. Cuts out a picture of a tree, pastes in on the paper. Cuts out a picture of a man, pastes it on the paper. And they become objects. And the little kid is interested in the objects. But where would the objects be without the paper? The paper is the reality of the objects. And when the kids stopped playing with those objects he simply unpeels the sun and puts the moon in its place. Takes away the clouds and pastes up stars in its place. Takes away the man and puts a woman in its place. Takes away the tree and puts grass and mountains. But did the paper change? The paper is still the same. And so it is with us. We appear to be mortals. Going through various experiences in the world. There appears to be a sky, planets, stars, others. But I say to you in truth that these are all false. Only the space is real. The space never changes and everything else does. Therefore how can anything that changes be real? Now some of you may ask, “What good is this teaching? Is it practical? What can it do for me?” And I say to you, “Are you really happy? Do you have unchanging happiness in your life? Do you have peace, real peace?” Most of us do not even understand what happiness and peace are. We think that happiness ensues when we get things to go our way. How long does that last? As you well know from experience, things change. The only thing that’s permanent in this life is change. If your happiness depends on person, place or thing, when that changes there goes your happiness, out the window. Same with peace and joy. As long as things bring you happiness, joy and peace, you will be miserable most of the time. For these things must change sooner or later and there goes your happiness with it. Some people believe that this teaching will cure their ills. Give them financial rewards. Improve their relationships. It may, but that’s not the point. We’re not trying to improve our humanhood. If you wish to improve your humanhood, they have plenty of so-called science of mind classes, positive thinking courses. What we’re trying to do here is annihilate our humanhood. Destroy it completely. It’s our humanhood that causes the misunderstanding, the suffering. As long as we identify with the body, we have to suffer. This doesn’t mean that by not identifying with the body, the world will become a bundle of joy and there will ensue happiness and peace in the world, on the contrary. What this means is you will acquire a new attitude. You will see things differently. When you begin to understand that you are the Self. And that you are an embodiment of love. And that your true nature is sat-chitananda. Parabrahman. If you really feel that, and you ultimately become that, what ever you see will become a reflection of your Self. That’s why you will be able to confess, the whole universe is the Self, and I am that. But until it happens to you, do not try to improve your affairs. It’s like beating a dead horse. When you improve your affairs they stay improved for a while and something negative pops up somewhere else. Then you improve that and then something negative pops up somewhere else. It’s unceasing, it never ends. It’s like you grow a tumor and you go to an elective doctor and he says, “Well I’ve got to cut it out. I’ll give you a local anesthetic and cut it off right here.” So he does just that, but a month later it grows back on the other side of your arm. Then he cuts that out. It grows back on your leg. He never got to the cause. You cannot destroy the effects and expect harmony. You’ve got to change the cause and there’s only one cause and that is your erroneous belief that you are human. That you are the body and the mind. That is the only cause of your misery. Eliminate that and suffering will cease. So again, how will you eliminate that? By simply asking yourself, “To whom does this come? Who’s going through these karma’s?” and you will soon realize it’s your ego, not you. Your ego has absolutely nothing to do with you. It is your ego that reincarnates. It is your ego that comes back again and again. But it has absolutely nothing to do with you. It’s like people being born and people dying in this space. People come and go everyday very fast. Wait until the war in Iraq starts, then they’ll really go. Then they’ll come back again and go again. It never ends. Until you get tired of playing the game. And you say to yourself, “Wait a minute, I’ve been playing this game for eons. I die I come back and I die and I come back and I die and I come back. I’m getting tired of it. What to do?” When you finally ask that question, something will happen. You’ll either grab the right book, meet the right teacher, hear the right words. But something will happen to you when you inquire, “Why do I have to keep playing these games?” and soon you will ask, “Who is it that plays the game? Who’s going through these reincarnations? Me, I am? Who is I am? Where did I come from? What gave it birth? Did I have a father and a mother to give it birth? How did it appear?” And something will tell you it’s like an optical illusion. Just as when I say to you, “The sky is blue.” In reality there’s no sky and there’s no blue. There’s only atmosphere. But if you look out the window you see a beautiful blue sky. Yet we know it does not exist. If you are in the desert dying of thirst, you see a mirage, you see an oasis and you run to drink the water but it’s a mirage, doesn’t exist. It’s an optical illusion. The same is true of your I. Your I appears to exist. But it is non-existent. Your body appears to exist. But it’s like moving pictures on the screen. Only the screen exists. The pictures that cover it are false. If you don’t believe it, try to grab them and see what you grab, you grab the screen. So it is with your so-called life. It comes from false imagination. You are dreaming the mortal dream. You believe that you are a body. And you’re going through many experiences. And you do as long as you have that belief. As soon as you drop that belief reality ensues all by itself. Everything stops. The first feeling that you achieve, is a feeling of immortality. You just know. You know that you were never born. And if you were never born, you can never die. You become aware of this. The second feeling is that you are omnipresent. You’re not your little self located in any body. There is no body. No body is home. You are free forever. Omnipresent. Omniscient. Omnipotent. You are everyone, everything, all existence and yet you are nobody. You are like a mirror, self-contained and you project the universe. But you become aware that you are the mirror and not the projection. Find your Self. Become true to your Self. How many more years do you have left? What are you doing with your life? How do you spend each day? What is more important to you than anything else? It begins in the morning when you first open your eyes. What do you think about first thing? What you should ask yourself as soon as you get up, you say, “What the hell am I doing here?” (laughter) That’s the smart thing to say. Instead of thinking, I want a cup of coffee, I want a danish, I have to go to work I have to make my weeks pay. Ask yourself, “What the hell am I doing? What am I going through? Why?” That is the first step. To be totally dissatisfied with your lot. (laughter) As long as you’re satisfied, and you say, “Oh I look good, I’m handsome, I’m pretty,” and you spend three hours putting on makeup, or bathing, putting on fresh clothes every minute. Then you’re feeding a dead horse. But when you realize you’re going through all kinds of nonsense and you’ve been going through nonsense all of your life and you ask yourself, “Where do I go from here?” The answers will come by themselves, really. You will not need any teacher. The only reason you come here is because you’re not doing it. (laughter) If you were doing the right thing why do you need me for? And so you begin to inquire, as soon as you open your eyes. “What is this body? Who is it? Who am I? What am I all about?” And then you remember you say, “I dreamt, I had a beautiful dream and I also slept soundly and now I am awake.” But here’s something funny you say, “I was present during my sleeping state, during my dream state and during my waking state. I was present because I said, I slept, I dreamt and I am awake. What is this I?” And again you follow through, “Where did this I come from? That sleeps, that is present during sleep, that is present during dream state. And now I say, “I am awake.” Who is this I that does all this? What is its nature? What is its source?” And you begin to be aware of your thoughts. You watch your mind, as it goes through the motions of thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, forever thinking. As if your thoughts are so important. You may say to me, “Well if I don’t think about my life, who’s going to take care of me? I’ve got to think about my life.” Does the tree that grows beautiful mangoes, think about its life? And yet it grows luscious mangoes. Does the sun think, “Will I shine again tomorrow?” Does the grass think, “Am I going to grow next week?” There is a mysterious power that takes care of everything. Karmically your body came to this earth to do something. It knows what to do without your help, thank you. (laughter) It needs no help from you. By abiding on the I, your body will take care of itself. Even better than you can ever do when you’re thinking. So try not to think too much. But rather follow the I-thought and when you follow it to its source, you will be surprised how easily you wake up and you become free and emancipated. Sometimes I close my eyes, sometimes I don’t. So for those of you who think I’m having some wonderful inner experiences and that’s why I close my eyes, forget it. I just close my eyes because they get tired. (laughter) There are no experiences to get. You are the experience yourself. Now I’ve talked enough and we’ll have questions and answers if you like? This is satsang and I shouldn’t be talking too much. Otherwise I might become a philosopher. (laughter) SR: Robert I have a question. There’s a feeling I have to do inquiry, I have to achieve a goal and I also notice all the thoughts and reactions have the feeling, “yes I’ve heard it before, yes I agree with it, yes it’s familiar,” and there’s always a sense of something I have to do. Even the whole liberation thing seems like something I want to do. R: Simply observe those thoughts. Do nothing about them. Since you’ve realized this is something you have to do, then do nothing. Just observe the thoughts, let them come, let them go and watch what happens. The whole idea is to quieten your mind. All of the sadhanas, all of the teachings on this earth is for one purpose, to quiet the mind. Once the mind is quiet, emancipation comes by itself. So simply observe your thoughts. Let them rage, let them do what they want. And they will quieten by themselves, if you do not interfere. If you try to change them, they’ll become stronger. Simply observe them, watch them. And leave them alone. They will dissipate all by themselves. Or if you get tired of doing that, ask yourself, “To whom do they come?” Do whatever you have to do. And if that doesn’t work that day, take a cold shower. (laughter) That’ll do something. SD: I think for me the best method is to say, “To whom do these thoughts come?” because it will always leads back to, “Who am I?” It involves all these questions, go back to self-inquiry. At any time my thoughts stray, I’ll say, “To whom do these thoughts come? Well they come to me. To whom? I. Who is the I?” It takes me to the I-thought. R: Well that’s good but Richard has been doing that for years apparently and he gets tired of it. So do nothing. SR: I like, “What the hell am I doing here?” best. (R: Whatever you have to do.) SU: I have said, “What the hell am I doing here,” probably because of language. I wake up very often and I say, “Am I still here?” R: That’s good. I actually asked my mother this when I was about thirteen years old. One day I woke up and went to her and I said, “Mum what am I doing here?” And she took me to a doctor. (laughter) Do you want to say something Jay? (SJ: No.) SU: There was something that you said earlier, you were saying something — there is no Self for the self-realized person and then you said something along at the same time, there’s no such thing as consciousness. Did you mean that or…? R: In the ultimate reality there’s nothing. As we know it, as we conceive it. As long as you’re able to voice it, it’s false. As long as you able to think about it, it does not exist. Reality is silence, not words. (SU: That is consciousness, isn’t it?) Consciousness is a word that we use. I keep on using it because it gives you something to work from. But in the ultimate reality it does not exist. SH: How was the notion of an I or a me arise in principle? How does it come into being? R: It’s like an optical illusion, have you ever been hypnotized? (SH: No.) When you’re hypnotized you can be made to imagine anything. It’s the same thing, it’s mass hypnosis, it’s collective hypnosis. We all believe we are the I-body. (SH: Why does that occur?) It doesn’t. (SH: It appears to?) It appears to. (SH: Yeah.) But it really doesn’t. It does not occur. (SH: Isn’t it that consciousness is identifying with this body-mind organism?) No. (SH: And therefore you get the notion that there is a separate me?) That’s how it appears but it’s not true. Consciousness is undivided. Consciousness is self-contained. For it appears to manifest as the universe. (SH: Something identifies with the body-mind?) SE: It’s the mind. R: There’s no mind. (laughter) (SH: Boy you really wipe everything out.) (laughter) That’s where it’s at. (SH: I agree.) As long as there are words or concepts it’s not that. SX: We’re taught that Henry. (SH: Huh?) We’re taught that. (SH: Taught what?) That as we grow up we’re taught I, you know, where’s your nose, where’s your eyes, where’s your teeth, you know? (SH: Yeah that’s true.) (break in tape and restarts as students question is picked up) SK: …when the thought comes to your mind that the passion isn’t there like it used to be, maybe there’s no more need for it or maybe it’s a false sense of… R: When you’ve arrived at that state see if you ask that question. Because it’ll just be gone. It’s like you were in a dark room all your life and you turn on the light. And now you’re in light, the darkness has dissipated, it’s gone, same thing. The ignorance has dissolved and you become your Self. It’s no big thing. SK: What is the difference then in this kind of a realization and the kind of thing that people who practice Ashtanga yoga or mystical types of yoga and other things where they – whether they get realization or not – the ultimate realization, but they manifest and generate all kinds of spiritual energy. R: The true ashtanga yoga, the eight fold path is merely to bring you to the place where the mind becomes quiescent. But it takes years and years and years. This is the direct path. (SK: Umm-hmm, and that isn’t?) No it’s indirect. On a path like this, you can become emancipated right now, if you want to. Just wake up! That’s all you have to do, just wake up. (SK: When that occurs does the individual, like individuals of other paths generate all kinds of spiritual energy.) Why? (laughter) (SK: It’s interesting to me, whether that’s actually a…) If you’re generating spiritual energy, there has to be someone left to generate the energy. (SK: So it’s actually…?) When there’s no one left, there’s no one to generate anything. ST: May I ask a question? After countless reincarnations and one needs a teacher and yet the ultimate event of realizing the truth has not happened, even if passion is lacking, will something of its own volition happen anyway? Is it just a matter of a process unfolding? R: I like to say, “We’re all hell bound for heaven.” (ST: Say it again please?) We’re all hell bound for heaven. (laughter) (SH: Goody, goody.) (laughs) It’s going to happen to all of us, whether we like it or not. (ST: In other words, we’re doomed to self-realization?) Exactly. (ST: I had come to this conclusion but I think sometimes I’ve done myself a great disservice.) SR: The strange part of that seems to me I’m in a recurring dream and I keep coming into rooms like that and now I’m starting to see the same thing. (laughter) And everybody’s still getting promised the direct path and nobody seems to be waking up. And there’s a beauty in that in a sense too, that the dream goes on of its own accord in a way that is not real. You know what I’m saying? R: Yes. There are people that wake up, but you haven’t met them. ST: It’s usually the people who wake up who don’t ask to be awakened, it just happens spontaneously. (R: Exactly.) They just arrive at some point even though there’s nothing going on, even in the illusory sense there’s something going on that propels it to happen. There’s a causation that seems to be, even within the void or so, I don’t know, it’s hard to… R: It’s just a question of letting go, let go of everything, ask yourself, “What am I holding onto?” As long as you’re holding onto something, person, place or thing, you’re earth bound. As soon as you let go totally you’re free. (ST: Why is it so hard?) For whom is it hard? (ST: The one who’s bound.) Who is that? See never put yourself down. Your real Self is not bound and you are your real Self. Identify with your real Self. Forget about the past, it’s dead. Be centered, live in the now. And identify with reality that’s all you have to do. ST: What sort of existence does one lead when that realization has taken place, it isn’t existence as we ordinarily experience it and we acknowledge that another person exists that we may not know their inner state. Are they still experiencing karma? Do they still have obligations in the world? R: There’s no karma for a Jnani. But the body will do what it has to do. But the Jnani will not be aware of it. (ST: There’s no identification with whatever is going in that?) The Jnani sees a completely different world. (ST: So the Jnani is not aware of his body doing what he has to do?) Exactly. SD: Didn’t you say at one point that you’re only aware in the observational sense? R: You’re like the screen. The movie is shown on the screen. The screen is just there. And people are getting killed in the movie. People are getting born, people grow old. All kinds of things are happening, wars, man’s inhumanity to man, it’s all happening on the screen. But the screen is never affected. (ST: So you’re like watching yourself on the screen then?) I realize I am the screen and these are projections. SD: But you see the projection of what we call Robert? (R: Yes.) You are aware as the screen of the image on the screen? (R: Yeah, I identify with the screen.) ST: Is that Sahaja Samadhi? (R: Yes.) Kind of like a working Nirvana. (R: Yes it is.) SR: I wondered this before and never got answered. Who thought this whole scheme up? (SH: You did.) R: Well you didn’t. (SR: I don’t think I did?) No, in reality there’s no scheme and nobody thought it up. It doesn’t exist. (SR: But it did happen though?) No it didn’t. SD: So who is dreaming? (R: Nobody. There is no dream, it’s an appearance.) So what we call the cosmic dream, itself is an appearance? SR: Who is the author of the appearance then? (R: There is no appearance and there’s no author.) What am I doing? Who am I? (laughter) (R: Find out.) SK: There appears to be an appearance. R: Always use the example the sky is blue. When you go outside and look at the sky, it’s a beautiful blue sky. But if you go up there, there’s no sky. There’s no blue. SR: To human beings there seems to be a consensus that it is – although it may not – it isn’t really – but the way our perceptions are set up we all have an agreement about these illusions that it’s blue although I know it’s just what I said. (R: It’s a collective dream.) Collective? (R: …dream.) Okay collective dream. (R: Wake up! Step out of the dream, wake up.) ST: Why has it been said that one who has awakened has an obligation to go back and awaken others? What difference does it make? R: It isn’t true. You’re speaking of Buddhism. The Boddhisatva (ST: Well even in yoga traditions they say, “Go back, go back for the sake of humanity.”) Who tells you that? SK: Who can go back? R: Well you can go back if you want to, but who tells you that? ST: I understood that was a part of an initiation right for swami-hood? R: Well that’s in swami-hood. Yes, that’s true for swami-hood. If you want to be a swami, go ahead. (ST: I see. But the swami’s goal is not self-realization, is it or…?) It is, but in a round about way. The whole idea is, if you want to save the world, become self-realized, for you become omnipresent and you become the world. So if you become realized, then your world is also realized. (ST: I understand it intellectually.) SD: On this path there is no desire to cause anything, right? SH: Do we all appear realized to you? (R: Of course.) You see perfectly clear that we are fully awake? (R: Everyone is.) Why are we pretending otherwise? (R: Who says you are?) I didn’t. (students laugh) (R: Then you’re not.) What? (R: Then you’re not.) Yeah. (tape break, restarts with students question.) SR: Numerous near death experiences are starting to bubble up in the media and are kind of like a tear in the illusion or peak through the illusion? R: Not really it’s a bigger illusion. Creates a vast illusion. It incorporates all kinds of things. (SR: But it does allow people to think more beyond the finite?) Well like it says in the Upanishads. Once you start playing around with the occult, you can be stuck for thousands of incarnations before you become free. SD: Robert has explained to us before that the astral planes are all relative and the causal etc. they are all part of the cosmic dream or maya or illusion. SK: Robert, you spoke about quieting the mind and I noticed that it seems that the mind has gotten quiet but the remnants of that seems to be that same as when the mind is very agitated, I distinctly feel that. R: Don’t pay any attention to the agitation or the quietness. (SK: So what the state of mind is, don’t pay any attention.) Don’t pay any attention whatsoever. (SK: Is it better to focus just on the awareness of that?) Exactly. Let the mind take care of itself. If it gives you trouble, take no notice, it’ll get you out of trouble, when you don’t interfere. It’s like when you have a friend, and if you don’t interfere in your friends life and you leave him alone or she alone, what does your friend do? He leaves you, because you’re not interfering in their life they’ll have nothing to do with you. When you have nothing to do with your friend, he’ll go away. So when you have nothing to do with your mind it’ll dissipate. Act like you don’t own it, it’s not yours. ST: May I ask you something, you said you were asking your mother a question about, “What am I doing here,” so obviously you were very precocious of it as a boy. I’m asking about something I’ve heard ask about twenty times, I hope I won’t bore the people. But I’d love to know something about your own experiences, Robert. (R: Well not at this time, I’ve done it so often.) All right, I respect that. R: Because what good does that do you, really. (ST: It doesn’t.) It’s just an interesting story. And you’ve heard many stories. You get right to the meat of the product, go within yourself and become free. It really makes no difference what I’ve been through. SH: You were with Ramana Maharshi for three years is that correct? (R: The last three years of his life.) How wonderful. You really leapt out. (students laugh) (R: It wasn’t my fault.) (laughter) It wasn’t your fault? (R: It just happened.) SX: Robert, I’m not going to ask you anything personal, but I’m also curious about a little child asking her mother, “Well, what am I doing here?” And other questions and is it possible for young children of 3, 4, or 5 to be in a realized state? (R: Yes it is.) Can you lose it and regain it? R: If you gain it you can never lose it. If it’s the real state. If it’s the real thing you can never lose it. SK: Is it then advisable to promote or encourage children to inquire within themselves? R: It’s advisable but it won’t necessarily happen. It all has to do with your karma. The karma of the children. I know children who have been with spiritual parents for years and they become wild… (SK: They reject it, become the opposite.) Yes. (SE: Preachers son.) R: Exactly. It all has to do with your karma. Nothing on this path is predictable. SX: Also Robert, if you feel that you had it as a young child, maybe it’s not within the acceptance of the culture. You could be your real Self and bury it. Periodically it emerges. In other words, you just don’t feel all the time like you… R: Not really because if you have that feeling within, you manifest it in your doings. That’s what happened to me. I was always weird. SL: I thought you said, aware or weird? Weirdly aware. (laughs) ST: Did you see manifesting everything that you did represents what that as normal people that were unrealized might stop you from your awareness? R: I was aware at a very early age, that this world is an act, a play. It isn’t real. And I used to wonder why people couldn’t see that. (SD: Did you talk to them about it?) I stopped when I got smart. SR: Did you see physical pain and psychological pain that way also, that it was not real and it was an act? R: In a way, yes. I thought everybody felt the same thing. But who was I to know? ST: But you actually, you were realized then? (R: Who knows?) SE: What happened to that sense of unreality? Did it deepen, because I feel that all the time, that this is totally unreal, the world is totally unreal, but I’ve never been realized. It just feels unreal, real unreal. R: What makes you think you’re not realized? (SE: Yeah.) Never put yourself down. That’s the true blasphemy. Blasphemy means when you put your Self down. Never do that. (SE: I have never had that experience that allowed me to have complete trust in myself.) You probably don’t remember. We’ve all had experiences but we don’t remember, we forget. It’s like the clouds hiding the sun and ignorant people say, “There’s no sun, there’s no sun.” But the sun is always shining. And when the clouds dissipate there’s the sun. Our true Self is always aware, always there. But the clouds of ignorance appear to cover it up. All we have to do is look back at our true Self and the clouds will dissipate. SH: You make that real simple, beautiful. SN: I had a similar experience that Ed was saying about relying on the Self and believing in the Self. And I used to curse myself, at one time following a guru or another time trusting in myself and then not trusting in myself and not knowing what was real. Where was this thing within myself and I am telling myself that you can get initiated, this or that and finally I had to confront myself. Very dramatic for me and it was kind of an internal quest, I suppose it was a type of self-inquiry without realizing it and I basically had gone from not believing in myself, not trusting in myself to the conclusion that in the sense that the Self is all there is. And I found some comfort when I was reading a Buddhist Dharmapada where it says that, “The Self is lord of Self, the Self is the refuge of the Self. You can only come to the Self through the Self.” And I meditated on that and I thought about teachers and this and that and I realized as Robert was saying that to put down the Self is blasphemy and according to this teaching it’s not that you rely on a teacher, but you rely on your Self, you are your own teacher. Robert says, “He can take you to the mine but you better do your own digging.” And besides that, that we are the Self and we can only find the Self through our Self and not being dependent on a teacher or a teaching, but your own consciousness, right here, right now. To identify with that. I think sometimes in satsang we get lost in so many different things, love or devotion or this or that and we never grasp the present moment, that present moment is the Self. That present moment, Robert says, “Find it and abide in it, and then follow it to its source.” It’s not something that we don’t have. It’s right here right now, just grasp that, find that. And I think in doing that you have to let the mind go, you have to let everything go. It’s just a let go to grasp. SR: What does it mean find the present moment, how could you not find it? R: You’re in it, you exist in it. You are the present moment. But to stay there and not go into the past or the present, or the future. Just to stay the way you are. You will always be safe if you can do that. As an example: in this second you have no thoughts about the past or the future. And as the seconds go, you start thinking. If you can keep your mind centered on the second where there are no thoughts, you’ll be safe. In that space in between thoughts, from one thought to the next thought there’s a break, stay in the break. Abide in the break. (SR: It seems like, as long as there’s no effort I’m abiding in the break, as soon as I try I just run out of it.) You’re not supposed to try. Just be. We have a meditation we use to help us and I simply share this with you because it helps. In reality you don’t have to meditate but this will help you. And you should practice this wherever you go. When you’re driving your car. First thing in getting up in the morning. Well don’t do it while you’re driving your car. (students laugh) You can use the last part when driving your car. So we’ll practice it right now. Relax yourself and make yourself comfortable. If you want to you can close your eyes. Focus your attention on your breath. Emphasize your breathing. Breath from your diaphragm. Inhale deeply, slowly and gently, expand your abdominals. Exhale through your nose and mouth. Contract your abdominals in slow motion. Take ten deep breaths like that. This is to relax you. Breath naturally and just watch your breathing. Watch the sensations in your body. This is called Vipassana meditation what we’re doing. Become aware of your sensations and your breath. Breath normally, if your mind wanders gently bring it back, to your feelings. Witness your thoughts, do not interfere, just watch. (pause) Question: “Who is the witness? Who is watching? Who is it that is watching my thoughts?” And the answer will be “I am.“ Now the meditation begins, you ask yourself, “Who am I?” as you inhale. Before you exhale you say, “I am He.” And with your exhalation you say, “I am not the body.” “Who am I” as you inhale, between exhalation and inhaling, “I am He.” As you exhale, “I am not the body.” (long silence) Thank you for coming, remember to love yourself, to pray to yourself, to bow to yourself, to worship yourself. Because God dwells in you as you, peace. And that’s the end of that. (tape ends)